Although Non verbal forms of communication are effective such as frowning and walking away from someone. Verbal forms work are well. There are two forms of verbal communication that are used on a daily basis. First, Low context cultures, which are “generally used to express thoughts and feelings” (Looking Out Looking In Pg 185) Second, high context cultures: which “are used to maintain social harmony.”( Looking Out Looking In Pg 185)
Although non nonverbal forms of communication are used more frequently than verbal forms of communication, They can sometimes be used together. For example: when a person says “good job and gives you a thumbs up sign”. (Looking Out Looking In) this non verbal and verbal reaction help you understand that you did a good job.
Although American’s use non verbal and verbal forms of communication like it going out of style, other cultures like people in Afghanistan find it in insulting when you give them a thumbs up sign. They consider it flipping someone off in their country. Some cultures like Vietnam, they are so close they don’t need to use much verbal language. I can’t tell you how my personal space has been violated by my dad’s girl friend, who by the way is Vietnamese.
Whether American or another culture we all use verbal and non verbal forms of communication. Its just not the same way in every country.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Being a better listener
I'm a very perky person, who likes to talk a lot. I'm sure some of my friends would give anything to tell me to shut up and give them a chance to speak. Hence, I should try to talk less and listen more. This way I might get more out of a conversation than the basics.
Getting rid of distractions such as the radio, friend dropping by, ex. This way I can give my full attention to the person at hand.
Don’t Judge Prematurely: Don’t judge something someone said before you give them a chance to explain. Everyone has done this at some point in their life. Although we feel stupid afterwards, we should learn from this mistake because it can help us become a good listener.
When talking to another person try to look for key ideas as they are speaking. For Example: if someone is talking about George Washington, and you need to know the main points of his life for your history test, you would listen for the main points such as his date of birth and when he died.
Nevertheless, I think I’ve had problem with listening over the years because things distract me easily, and I like to talk. If I work on these issues I can become a better listener.
Getting rid of distractions such as the radio, friend dropping by, ex. This way I can give my full attention to the person at hand.
Don’t Judge Prematurely: Don’t judge something someone said before you give them a chance to explain. Everyone has done this at some point in their life. Although we feel stupid afterwards, we should learn from this mistake because it can help us become a good listener.
When talking to another person try to look for key ideas as they are speaking. For Example: if someone is talking about George Washington, and you need to know the main points of his life for your history test, you would listen for the main points such as his date of birth and when he died.
Nevertheless, I think I’ve had problem with listening over the years because things distract me easily, and I like to talk. If I work on these issues I can become a better listener.
Ways I could listen better
I'm a very perky person, who likes to talk a lot. I'm sure some of my friends would give anything to tell me to shut up and give them a chance to speak. Hence, I should try to talk less and listen more. This way I might get more out of a conversation than the basics.
Getting rid of distractions such as the radio, friend dropping by, ex. This way I can give my full attention to the person at hand.
Don’t Judge Prematurely: Don’t judge something someone said before you give them a chance to explain. Everyone has done this at some point in their life. Although we feel stupid afterwards, we should learn from this mistake because it can help us become a good listener.
When talking to another person try to look for key ideas as they are speaking. For Example: if someone is talking about George Washington, and you need to know the main points of his life for your history test, you would listen for the main points such as his date of birth and when he died.
Nevertheless, I think I’ve had problem with listening over the years because things distract me easily, and I like to talk. If I work on these issues I can become a better listener.
Getting rid of distractions such as the radio, friend dropping by, ex. This way I can give my full attention to the person at hand.
Don’t Judge Prematurely: Don’t judge something someone said before you give them a chance to explain. Everyone has done this at some point in their life. Although we feel stupid afterwards, we should learn from this mistake because it can help us become a good listener.
When talking to another person try to look for key ideas as they are speaking. For Example: if someone is talking about George Washington, and you need to know the main points of his life for your history test, you would listen for the main points such as his date of birth and when he died.
Nevertheless, I think I’ve had problem with listening over the years because things distract me easily, and I like to talk. If I work on these issues I can become a better listener.
Selective listening and Difensive Listening in Men
Most men are selective listeners. Why is that? It’s like when a game is on all their attention is focused on that game and nothing else. Why aren’t woman this way?
For instance, my boyfriend loves to play computer games. However, he doesn’t pay much attention to anything else while playing. Yes, he will talk to me, but no I can’t get him to do get up and do anything while he’s playing. It’s like he’s a kid. I think most woman experience this with their husbands or boyfriends. Men just have that instinct to shut down and concentrate on the task at hand whereas, woman can do multiple tasks at once.
When someone ignores me I upset. I hate repeating myself. Repeating yourself because someone didn’t hear you is one thing, repeating yourself because someone isn’t listening is a totally different story.
If I’ve learned one thing in the twenty one years of my life its “men you can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.”Selective hearing isn’t the only problem men typically have. They also can be defensive listeners if they are typically are listening for something that sounds defensive. I suppose this could relate to anyone, but I don’t have any female friends that get defensive when I call them out on something. However, when I call a guy friend out on something they get defensive
For instance, my boyfriend loves to play computer games. However, he doesn’t pay much attention to anything else while playing. Yes, he will talk to me, but no I can’t get him to do get up and do anything while he’s playing. It’s like he’s a kid. I think most woman experience this with their husbands or boyfriends. Men just have that instinct to shut down and concentrate on the task at hand whereas, woman can do multiple tasks at once.
When someone ignores me I upset. I hate repeating myself. Repeating yourself because someone didn’t hear you is one thing, repeating yourself because someone isn’t listening is a totally different story.
If I’ve learned one thing in the twenty one years of my life its “men you can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.”Selective hearing isn’t the only problem men typically have. They also can be defensive listeners if they are typically are listening for something that sounds defensive. I suppose this could relate to anyone, but I don’t have any female friends that get defensive when I call them out on something. However, when I call a guy friend out on something they get defensive
Besides being a perfectionist I tend to over generalize things. For example, if someone is telling a joke I’ll take in the wrong context sometimes depending on what the joke was representing. A good example would be last week when I met a few of my boyfriend’s friends. He mentioned beforehand that I had a disability, but they still had to raze me a bit. I could take it for the first five minutes, but after that I walked away from them. I know I do the same, and yes that makes me a hypocrite, but I make sure the person next to me really isn’t offended. I wouldn’t tell a joke right as I met someone if I knew they had a disability.
I tend to take the little things to far. For instance, if someone stresses me out I’ll think about it so much that it’s a bigger issue than it really is. This in turn will give me a seizure because I made something that wasn’t a big deal a big issue.
I’ve only had that happen a few times in my life, and I’m working really hard to control over generalizing things. However, change is hard and it doesn’t just happen in one day. It can take years to change something like this.
I tend to take the little things to far. For instance, if someone stresses me out I’ll think about it so much that it’s a bigger issue than it really is. This in turn will give me a seizure because I made something that wasn’t a big deal a big issue.
I’ve only had that happen a few times in my life, and I’m working really hard to control over generalizing things. However, change is hard and it doesn’t just happen in one day. It can take years to change something like this.
Fallacy of helplessness
I’m such a perfectionist. When I was younger, I would have to start a assignment over because I was very particular about my hand writing. Now that I’m in college, I’ve gotten smart and I just type everything because it saves on time. Although I still have my little corks. For instance, everything needs to be clean at all times, and I’m not referring to my own house. Second, I have to make sure my door is shut a few time before I leave the house and before I go to sleep. Yes, I realize this is a form of obsession compulsive disorder, but I’ve also seen it as being a perfectionist. I don’t know why I am this way. Sometimes it really bothers me. For instances, when I’m rushing out the door and I have to go back to see if it’s locked. I sometimes wonder if a doctor could help me with this problem. Over the years, it has invaded my life more and more. For instance, I can’t stay at a friend’s house longer than a day because I’m scared that someones going to rob their house. Yes, its funny. However, it is what it is. When reading in the reference book Looking Out Looking In a perfectionist is also known as fallacy of helplessness. ( pg 147)
non verbal communication project
Group four decided invade people’s personal space by going to a mall and sitting on benches and recording the reactions of the person next to us. Although we all did the same thing, everyone got a different result.
For instance, When Madison went to the Burnsville Center she found that elderly people don’ care if their personal space is invaded. Abby went to the Burnsville Center as well, although she targeted a few different age groups. First she sat next to a few girls at a food court. Who were disturbed by her abrupt sitting down and no discussion? Second see sat by a single aged mom and her son, who didn’t mind their personal space being invaded. Lastly, Abby sat by an elderly woman who ignored her, and an elderly man who ignored her too.
April was another group member to do this experiment. Although when she went to the mall of America she took her whole family( husband, 5 children ages 6, 7, 9, 12,and 14).Her and her family received a whole bunch of reactions when conducting this experiment.
For instance, he two older son’s ages 12 and 14 got a whole bunch of looks when they sat next to other people on a bench. April also said her husband got reactions like woman walking away.
My point is non verbal communication can be more valuable than verbal communication sometimes. I think we all learned this by performing this experiment.
For instance, When Madison went to the Burnsville Center she found that elderly people don’ care if their personal space is invaded. Abby went to the Burnsville Center as well, although she targeted a few different age groups. First she sat next to a few girls at a food court. Who were disturbed by her abrupt sitting down and no discussion? Second see sat by a single aged mom and her son, who didn’t mind their personal space being invaded. Lastly, Abby sat by an elderly woman who ignored her, and an elderly man who ignored her too.
April was another group member to do this experiment. Although when she went to the mall of America she took her whole family( husband, 5 children ages 6, 7, 9, 12,and 14).Her and her family received a whole bunch of reactions when conducting this experiment.
For instance, he two older son’s ages 12 and 14 got a whole bunch of looks when they sat next to other people on a bench. April also said her husband got reactions like woman walking away.
My point is non verbal communication can be more valuable than verbal communication sometimes. I think we all learned this by performing this experiment.
Toxic Relationships
Everyone has a different way of defining what a toxic relationship is. I would say a toxic relationship is a relationship that you can’t get out of willingly. What I mean is you can leave on your own terms.
There are many different forms of toxic relationships. First there are abusive relationships. These relationships are hard to get out of because the woman is so wrapped up at the fact that their husband or boyfriend won’t hit them again. However, they will. Another toxic relationship is mental abuse. When your partner, family member, or friend is abusing you mentally its hard to end the relationship because your afraid what they will say to you to get you to stay. Emotional abuse is another factor when in a toxic relationship. These people can become so depressed that theydon’tknow how to get out. I can speak from personal experience because both my parents have put me through emotional distress.
When I was ten, my mom met a guy in a chat room. He turned out to be a wife beater. He hit mom several times and only hit me once. Thank goodness. I will always remember that day. I will never go into detail about it, because I start crying and shaking. However, I will say that when someone mentions the name wyttor the state Ohio I shake.
There are many different forms of toxic relationships. First there are abusive relationships. These relationships are hard to get out of because the woman is so wrapped up at the fact that their husband or boyfriend won’t hit them again. However, they will. Another toxic relationship is mental abuse. When your partner, family member, or friend is abusing you mentally its hard to end the relationship because your afraid what they will say to you to get you to stay. Emotional abuse is another factor when in a toxic relationship. These people can become so depressed that theydon’tknow how to get out. I can speak from personal experience because both my parents have put me through emotional distress.
When I was ten, my mom met a guy in a chat room. He turned out to be a wife beater. He hit mom several times and only hit me once. Thank goodness. I will always remember that day. I will never go into detail about it, because I start crying and shaking. However, I will say that when someone mentions the name wyttor the state Ohio I shake.
Oppsites Attract
Re reading the differences of men and woman, I got to thinking about the current relationship I'm in. The guy I'm dating is so different than I am. Maybe this is why we fit together so well, but still shouldn't couples have some similarities? For instance,
Aaron is into playing video games whereas I'm okay with lounging around when I have a free moment. He watches animae and I watch law and order special victims unit.
I have epilepsy and though I don't like having seizures I don't get all flustered when one happens. I also don’t follow my doctor’s instructions on not having caffeine. Aaron makes sure I don't have pop, or chocolate. Although it’s silly, we fight about me drinking soda or eating chocolate. Mainly it’s me bringing up the subject, but still. I don’t like that he’s so concerned sometimes. I think its cute for the most part but it can get annoying sometimes.
I know this is something that most men do, but he doesn’t pick up after himself. That makes me mad .I’m a clean freak so when I see something that is in the wrong place I want to pick it up. The worst part is, if I do pick up his mess he gets upset because I’m messing with his stuff.
What I’ve learned from this relationship is that we are different and I either need to deal with it or I need ro end the relationship.
Aaron is into playing video games whereas I'm okay with lounging around when I have a free moment. He watches animae and I watch law and order special victims unit.
I have epilepsy and though I don't like having seizures I don't get all flustered when one happens. I also don’t follow my doctor’s instructions on not having caffeine. Aaron makes sure I don't have pop, or chocolate. Although it’s silly, we fight about me drinking soda or eating chocolate. Mainly it’s me bringing up the subject, but still. I don’t like that he’s so concerned sometimes. I think its cute for the most part but it can get annoying sometimes.
I know this is something that most men do, but he doesn’t pick up after himself. That makes me mad .I’m a clean freak so when I see something that is in the wrong place I want to pick it up. The worst part is, if I do pick up his mess he gets upset because I’m messing with his stuff.
What I’ve learned from this relationship is that we are different and I either need to deal with it or I need ro end the relationship.
Refelection of why people choose who they do when they have a friend or an intimate relationship
Thinking back to the chapter eight reading in Looking Out Looking in I was astonished when I read all the way we as communicators decide to choose friends and more intimate relationships.
Some of the examples given were appearance, similarity, relational attraction, competence, disclosure, proximity, and rewards. When I think of these examples given in the reference book, I can think of a way I gained a relationship from each example.
For instance, I am normally attracted to other who has a perky personality like myself, or who are open minded. Most of my friends are perky, or open minded.
Secondly, Appearance never really bothers me. Although I try to stay away from people who can't shower, I wouldn't be friends with someone because they dress different thenI do.
Third, Competence is a big issue for me. I've always tried to associate myself with intelligent people who are older than I because I've found that people who are my age or younger do stupid things that I don’t want to be a part of.
Self disclosure is another factor when defining a relationship. I don't enjoy people who tell me their life story right when I meet them. However, I don't like when you’re quite either. Its kind of that happy medium for me that’s hard to explain.
I’ve found these ways of seeking out others too be a profound way of doing things, and I wouldn’t change my way of meeting new people.
Some of the examples given were appearance, similarity, relational attraction, competence, disclosure, proximity, and rewards. When I think of these examples given in the reference book, I can think of a way I gained a relationship from each example.
For instance, I am normally attracted to other who has a perky personality like myself, or who are open minded. Most of my friends are perky, or open minded.
Secondly, Appearance never really bothers me. Although I try to stay away from people who can't shower, I wouldn't be friends with someone because they dress different thenI do.
Third, Competence is a big issue for me. I've always tried to associate myself with intelligent people who are older than I because I've found that people who are my age or younger do stupid things that I don’t want to be a part of.
Self disclosure is another factor when defining a relationship. I don't enjoy people who tell me their life story right when I meet them. However, I don't like when you’re quite either. Its kind of that happy medium for me that’s hard to explain.
I’ve found these ways of seeking out others too be a profound way of doing things, and I wouldn’t change my way of meeting new people.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Difference of men and Woman
According to the reference book Looking Out Looking In men and woman are different in many ways. For example: men understand what woman are saying more offten than woman undusted what men are saying. Personally I believe this too be true. Ican think of many examples when I’m with my male friend and I have to ask about what is being talked about vs. When I'm saying something. I think this is because men listen better than woman. Laughing out loud.
However, woman make up when talking in a conversation. Women ask more questions than men do. Although men tend to joke around when talking and woman ten to focus more on relationships, they seem to get their points across fine.
My boyfriend jokes around a lot. Sometimes its hard to tell when he’s serious. Although this can problem caused a fight at times, we are working on this issue. Being funny isn’t a bad thing though. It is always good to have a laugh once in a while. Another difference I’ve found between us is that I’m an open person when talking and he’s not. When looking back at the reference book, I see that it doesn’t say how much men talk, so I can’t compare my current situation to the reference material.
However, woman make up when talking in a conversation. Women ask more questions than men do. Although men tend to joke around when talking and woman ten to focus more on relationships, they seem to get their points across fine.
My boyfriend jokes around a lot. Sometimes its hard to tell when he’s serious. Although this can problem caused a fight at times, we are working on this issue. Being funny isn’t a bad thing though. It is always good to have a laugh once in a while. Another difference I’ve found between us is that I’m an open person when talking and he’s not. When looking back at the reference book, I see that it doesn’t say how much men talk, so I can’t compare my current situation to the reference material.
Power of Speech
In different area of the world our speech is portrayed differently. For example: in America hedging, tag questions, inferences, and disclaimer are used offten. However, in Japan they are more reserved. What I mean is they keep too themselves more than Americans.
Some questions that are related to speech are as follows:
Hedging:" I'm kind of disappointed" I think we should..." I guess I'd like too.."
Hesitation: " uh can I have a minute of your time?" "Well, can we could try this idea."
Intensiferners: " I'm really glad to see you" I'm not very hungry."
Polite forms: excuse me sir
Tag questions: "Its about time we got started, isn't it" " Don't you think we should give it another try?"
These questions above are used in many different forms, not just in the examples. In fact when talking with your friends and family members, you will find that your actions speak louder than words. For instance, if you are asked to pick up your mess, and you don't follow through with the action of cleaning, the other communicator will be upset.
However, If you decide to pick up your mess after being asked, the other communication will be pleased and therefore associate you listen to others.
Some questions that are related to speech are as follows:
Hedging:" I'm kind of disappointed" I think we should..." I guess I'd like too.."
Hesitation: " uh can I have a minute of your time?" "Well, can we could try this idea."
Intensiferners: " I'm really glad to see you" I'm not very hungry."
Polite forms: excuse me sir
Tag questions: "Its about time we got started, isn't it" " Don't you think we should give it another try?"
These questions above are used in many different forms, not just in the examples. In fact when talking with your friends and family members, you will find that your actions speak louder than words. For instance, if you are asked to pick up your mess, and you don't follow through with the action of cleaning, the other communicator will be upset.
However, If you decide to pick up your mess after being asked, the other communication will be pleased and therefore associate you listen to others.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Cultural Differences
My dad recently stated dating a Vietnamese woman. Since they started dating, I've realized the American culture is different from the Vietnamese culture.
For example: For the past couple of weeks I have been sick. When Tammy comes around me, see gets way to close to me. I politely say" You shouldn't be this close to me right now because you are going to catch this cold," but she doesn't understand because she stays at the same distance. The book related this cultural difference to behavioral language: names or things that imply people say or do certain things.
Another way American culture is different from the Vietnamese culture is they don't understand our language very well. It's very hard to get a joke across to someone that is from another part of the world because you have to explain the context of the joke to the point where its not funny anymore. For example: Most American’s know who Bill Engvall is. If you've seen his stand up shows, you know he’s famous because of there’s your sign. Although he has many of them, many of us know one off the top of our heads. However, if you were to try and explain a here’s your sign joke to someone from Vietnam or china, they probably wouldn't understand it.
For example: For the past couple of weeks I have been sick. When Tammy comes around me, see gets way to close to me. I politely say" You shouldn't be this close to me right now because you are going to catch this cold," but she doesn't understand because she stays at the same distance. The book related this cultural difference to behavioral language: names or things that imply people say or do certain things.
Another way American culture is different from the Vietnamese culture is they don't understand our language very well. It's very hard to get a joke across to someone that is from another part of the world because you have to explain the context of the joke to the point where its not funny anymore. For example: Most American’s know who Bill Engvall is. If you've seen his stand up shows, you know he’s famous because of there’s your sign. Although he has many of them, many of us know one off the top of our heads. However, if you were to try and explain a here’s your sign joke to someone from Vietnam or china, they probably wouldn't understand it.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Reaction's Playing off our Emotion's
Everyone shows emotion. However, we all express how we're feeling about a certian situation differently. For example: everyone reacts to September 11, 2001 differently. Many people knew someone working in the trade towers, near the trade towers,or maybe you knew some that was flying that day. Whatever your situation, we all have a recation about what happened that day.
Can you remember where you were when the first plan hit the World Trade Center? What were you feeling at that moment? I remember I was in seventh grade geography class when our princpial told us to gohome and be with our families. When I got home from school, they just kept replying the same news footage over and over again. Personally, every time I saw the plan's hit the building's, my heart started to race and I felt like I couldn't breath. The factor's I was expirencing at that given moment was physiological factors.
Nonverbal reactions can also have an affect on you emotions. For example: if I was to sweat, leave the room, or turn my head when the news played the same footage every fifteen minutes, people probably would be able to tell that I hada problemwithwhat happen that day, and that I'd rather not watch it.
Lastly, verbal expression.
Manypeople use languge to communicate what the are feeling. However,when that isn't possible, people use nonverbal and physiological factors to get their feels heard.
When our princpial told us togo home and be with our families the rest of the day, she was using verbal communicatin. This direct order lead people to panic and go home to their families.
Can you remember where you were when the first plan hit the World Trade Center? What were you feeling at that moment? I remember I was in seventh grade geography class when our princpial told us to gohome and be with our families. When I got home from school, they just kept replying the same news footage over and over again. Personally, every time I saw the plan's hit the building's, my heart started to race and I felt like I couldn't breath. The factor's I was expirencing at that given moment was physiological factors.
Nonverbal reactions can also have an affect on you emotions. For example: if I was to sweat, leave the room, or turn my head when the news played the same footage every fifteen minutes, people probably would be able to tell that I hada problemwithwhat happen that day, and that I'd rather not watch it.
Lastly, verbal expression.
Manypeople use languge to communicate what the are feeling. However,when that isn't possible, people use nonverbal and physiological factors to get their feels heard.
When our princpial told us togo home and be with our families the rest of the day, she was using verbal communicatin. This direct order lead people to panic and go home to their families.
The Pillow Method
The pillow method is a situation that has four sides to it like a pillow. The best example I can think of that relates to my life, but will affect others, is when I decided to moved up to my dad's so I could go to college.
Position 1: states I'm right and you’re wrong.
When I decided to move out of my mom's house, she wasn't too happy. Yes she was losing her baby, but I was also a big help around the house. I watched my little sisters and cleaned the house when needed. I knew she was going to miss that. However, I was more concerned about my needs, and what I needed to do to achieve the goals I want in life.
Position 2: Your right I'm wrong.
My dad was never in my life until I was older. When I want to go live with him, my mom was upset. She was the one who had taken care of me over the years. As far as she was concerned, she would make sure I would get into a college sooner or later.
Position 3: both right both wrong:
My mom was right when she said she cared for me and would see that I got into a good school if I stayed living with her. My mom was wrong in thinking she can have her children live with her forever. I was right that I needed to achieve my goals. However, I was wrong in thing I need to achieve them right away.
Position 4: This issue isn’t as important as it seems
Now that this issue has passed, It doesn't seem relevant anymore. At the time, we were at each other’s thoughts when it came to discussing the issue, but now when we look back on this situation it seemed like the best idea at the time.
Position 1: states I'm right and you’re wrong.
When I decided to move out of my mom's house, she wasn't too happy. Yes she was losing her baby, but I was also a big help around the house. I watched my little sisters and cleaned the house when needed. I knew she was going to miss that. However, I was more concerned about my needs, and what I needed to do to achieve the goals I want in life.
Position 2: Your right I'm wrong.
My dad was never in my life until I was older. When I want to go live with him, my mom was upset. She was the one who had taken care of me over the years. As far as she was concerned, she would make sure I would get into a college sooner or later.
Position 3: both right both wrong:
My mom was right when she said she cared for me and would see that I got into a good school if I stayed living with her. My mom was wrong in thinking she can have her children live with her forever. I was right that I needed to achieve my goals. However, I was wrong in thing I need to achieve them right away.
Position 4: This issue isn’t as important as it seems
Now that this issue has passed, It doesn't seem relevant anymore. At the time, we were at each other’s thoughts when it came to discussing the issue, but now when we look back on this situation it seemed like the best idea at the time.
Friday, October 2, 2009
empathy vrs smpathy
"Empathy is defined as being able to re create another person's perspcetive , to experience the world from another person's point of view." Pg 109
Many people have a hard time showing empathy, rather most people are good at expressing sympathy ina situation. I think I have trouble with both, but i'll give two situation's, and you can teel me which method you thinkI was expressing to the other communicator.
First situation:
My grandpa had a stroke six months ago. Since then, my grandma has had to rely on other'sto help her with task's suck as fixing the furnace. These things my grandpa would normally do, but since he's now ina nursing home, my dad has taken on the responsibility of helping his mother out. However, a every couple week trip turns into a every few day trips when my grandma has a sinus infection. Let me back up. A couple of days ago, my grandma starts calling my dad at 1:30 in the morning about the furnace. Although we know it's working, we think she is just sick. Finally my dad tells her not to turn up the heat because she will forget about it if she runs out for a few minutes. Nevertheless, she turns up the heat, and calls my dad because shes hot and forgot she turned up the heat.She wanted to know if he could come over and take another look at it?
When my dad got home from work, he told me what happened with grandma. I felt empathy for him because she has called me before and Iknow how hard it can be to shut her up, so to speak.
Now that I'man adult, I can smpathize with my parents when they say they have a lot of bills to pay. I have 120.00 worth of bills, and though I know its nothing copared to what my parents pay each month. I still have enoughto help them out finically.
Many people have a hard time showing empathy, rather most people are good at expressing sympathy ina situation. I think I have trouble with both, but i'll give two situation's, and you can teel me which method you thinkI was expressing to the other communicator.
First situation:
My grandpa had a stroke six months ago. Since then, my grandma has had to rely on other'sto help her with task's suck as fixing the furnace. These things my grandpa would normally do, but since he's now ina nursing home, my dad has taken on the responsibility of helping his mother out. However, a every couple week trip turns into a every few day trips when my grandma has a sinus infection. Let me back up. A couple of days ago, my grandma starts calling my dad at 1:30 in the morning about the furnace. Although we know it's working, we think she is just sick. Finally my dad tells her not to turn up the heat because she will forget about it if she runs out for a few minutes. Nevertheless, she turns up the heat, and calls my dad because shes hot and forgot she turned up the heat.She wanted to know if he could come over and take another look at it?
When my dad got home from work, he told me what happened with grandma. I felt empathy for him because she has called me before and Iknow how hard it can be to shut her up, so to speak.
Now that I'man adult, I can smpathize with my parents when they say they have a lot of bills to pay. I have 120.00 worth of bills, and though I know its nothing copared to what my parents pay each month. I still have enoughto help them out finically.
being sick
For the past two weeks I've been trying to overcome a cold. When I have a cold, I get a fever, sneeze, cough, and get the chills. The only thing I seem to want to do is lay around the house and drink orange juice.
When reading about perceptions in chapter three, I realized that health, and being tired are two perceptions that can affect a way someone acts.
When I have a cold, I am tired and don't want to do much of anything. It seems like people have to force me to do my homework right not. However, when I feel normal I get my assignments done on time, and spend my spare time cleaning the house and going to see my grandpa.
Whether I’m fatigued, hungry, or unhealthy, my actions are most appropriate when I’m awake, healthy, or full. I think this because when we are fatigued, sick, or hungry, our actions aren’t what they would be if we were full, awake, and healthy. For a better perspective we express ourselves better when we aren’t sick, tired, or hungry.
I have to go finish closing up my cabin this weekend, and because I’m sick it’s not going to be much fun. When we are sick, we still have to do things that we don’t want to do at that moment. However, how do we get the courage to go out and conger those activities? Even though I know I should rest, I feel terrible when I give myself a day to do so. I feel like I’ve been lazy all day, and that I’m going to have to make up a lot of work later. I’m sure this is different for every person, but I hope I find an answer for this question.
When reading about perceptions in chapter three, I realized that health, and being tired are two perceptions that can affect a way someone acts.
When I have a cold, I am tired and don't want to do much of anything. It seems like people have to force me to do my homework right not. However, when I feel normal I get my assignments done on time, and spend my spare time cleaning the house and going to see my grandpa.
Whether I’m fatigued, hungry, or unhealthy, my actions are most appropriate when I’m awake, healthy, or full. I think this because when we are fatigued, sick, or hungry, our actions aren’t what they would be if we were full, awake, and healthy. For a better perspective we express ourselves better when we aren’t sick, tired, or hungry.
I have to go finish closing up my cabin this weekend, and because I’m sick it’s not going to be much fun. When we are sick, we still have to do things that we don’t want to do at that moment. However, how do we get the courage to go out and conger those activities? Even though I know I should rest, I feel terrible when I give myself a day to do so. I feel like I’ve been lazy all day, and that I’m going to have to make up a lot of work later. I’m sure this is different for every person, but I hope I find an answer for this question.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Reviewing material
When reviewing material for my first exam, I found a few items I wasn't completlty understanding. First , I wasn't understanding the full concept of the tranactional model and how it related to the linear communication model. I found out that the tranactional and linear model opperate the same way expect the tranactional model removes the words sender and reciever and replances them withcommunicatior because communication is going both ways.
Another thing I wasn't understanding was the different types of noise. I found out there were four different types of noise. First there is phycholigical needs, consist of thing like food, oxygen, water, and relatively constant body temperature. Second Maslow attends to a persons Saftey needs. These needs apply to to children be insicure and adults feeling safe in their envirmoent. The next need maslow attends to is people feeling loved, have a sense of belongingm and affection towards others. When we feel safe in our envirmoents and have our physical well being taken care of, people can focus on feeling love and affection towards others. Lastly, Maslow stresses the need of Self-Actualization. This need is key because it entitles a person to feel they are here to do something.
When I took The test, I was amaed that I got such a low score at first. However, when the essay questions were graded I did a lot better. I'm pleased with the effort I put into studying for this first exam.
Another thing I wasn't understanding was the different types of noise. I found out there were four different types of noise. First there is phycholigical needs, consist of thing like food, oxygen, water, and relatively constant body temperature. Second Maslow attends to a persons Saftey needs. These needs apply to to children be insicure and adults feeling safe in their envirmoent. The next need maslow attends to is people feeling loved, have a sense of belongingm and affection towards others. When we feel safe in our envirmoents and have our physical well being taken care of, people can focus on feeling love and affection towards others. Lastly, Maslow stresses the need of Self-Actualization. This need is key because it entitles a person to feel they are here to do something.
When I took The test, I was amaed that I got such a low score at first. However, when the essay questions were graded I did a lot better. I'm pleased with the effort I put into studying for this first exam.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Refelection of Yesterday
I had a big day yesterday. I woke up at about 5:30 and started correcting my english paper that was due the 16th of september. I showered, got dressed, and went to my dentist aptointment, around 11:30. Around 12:30 I headed off to school. I had class from 1pm- 2:40pm. However I left at 2:30 because I had to go apply for housing. I got hope around 5:00pm, and boy was I tired. I felt like I had countered the world today.
When thinking about my activities yesterday, I realised I did to much. However, one question was on my mind, why do we do more things in a day than our body can handle? I answered my own question when I told about something I read in the text the other day. We over excert ourselves because we want to feel accomplished. When I don'taccomplish somethingI wanted to, it stays in my mind until I accomplish it. However, it's notjust accomplishsomething that gives us a shy of relief. We have a feeling of satsafaction when we acconplish a task.
Yesterday I wanted to start bloggin, but everything that came into my head went scrammble on the computer. I couldn't get my words to come out smoothly. Everyone hashad this problem at some point in their lives. When thinking why this happens, I came to the conclusion that it happens because our brain is tired. To expand appon this statement I feel selve fulliment when I accomplish a task. When I don't accomplish something, I feel unfullilled.
We all have expectations ofourselves and others. However, when we disengage from these expectations we don't feel disapproved of ourselves. For instance: if I said I was going to takedown the trash, and clean the house and didn't accomplish the expectations I had of myselfthat day. I would feel disapproved because I didn'tget done what I needed to.
When we do accomplish our expectations of ourselves, we can appraise ourselves. This is known as refelected appraisial. I'm going to appraise myself because Idid a good job today. Itsa term that means you give yourself a pat on the back, or you approve of someones life style.
When thinking about my activities yesterday, I realised I did to much. However, one question was on my mind, why do we do more things in a day than our body can handle? I answered my own question when I told about something I read in the text the other day. We over excert ourselves because we want to feel accomplished. When I don'taccomplish somethingI wanted to, it stays in my mind until I accomplish it. However, it's notjust accomplishsomething that gives us a shy of relief. We have a feeling of satsafaction when we acconplish a task.
Yesterday I wanted to start bloggin, but everything that came into my head went scrammble on the computer. I couldn't get my words to come out smoothly. Everyone hashad this problem at some point in their lives. When thinking why this happens, I came to the conclusion that it happens because our brain is tired. To expand appon this statement I feel selve fulliment when I accomplish a task. When I don't accomplish something, I feel unfullilled.
We all have expectations ofourselves and others. However, when we disengage from these expectations we don't feel disapproved of ourselves. For instance: if I said I was going to takedown the trash, and clean the house and didn't accomplish the expectations I had of myselfthat day. I would feel disapproved because I didn'tget done what I needed to.
When we do accomplish our expectations of ourselves, we can appraise ourselves. This is known as refelected appraisial. I'm going to appraise myself because Idid a good job today. Itsa term that means you give yourself a pat on the back, or you approve of someones life style.
I'm upset
When out to dinner with my father last night, we had a conversation about why I don'tshare my opinions as often as I should. I told him I don't share my opinion because when I do someone doesn't like what I have to say.
When futher thinking about this I realised that I selected to operate this way. We should care what people think about ouropinions. Thats why they're called opinions. I believe this image I portray is related to my childhood. When I was younger, my mother always got upset when she asked for our opinion on something and we told her the truth.She got so angry that we didn't agree with her sometimes. I believe these episodes shaped my idenity. I don't share my opinions around my parents because they get upset.
Though my dad was up that night, he understood why I act this way. When the conversation went futher herealised he gets upset when I share my opinion. For example: I told my father that I thought it was weird he was dating again. Mainly because he hadn't dated since my mother. I went on to saying that I was happy for him. I think he selects to do this because he is happt and wants everyone tobe happy about the situation.
Before we went to eat, my father and I were getting our nails done. Yes I know a man getting a petacure is strange, but thats my father. While my father was getting his petacure, he was telling the nail technition abouthis new girlfriend. While talking about tammy, the petacurist ask ifshe was divorced and if the children were in the fathers life? My dad said Tammy had been married, but was now divorced. She has five children from to marrigess and the father isn'tin their lives. I was okay with that response. However, he than went on to saying that fathers leave their children when getting divorced, and then come ack when the child can take care of themselves. I thought this statement was very strerotypical. Not all fathers walk away from their children when getting divorced . Just because Tammy's ex husbands, and yourself walked away from you children doesn't mean every man does.
When futher thinking about this I realised that I selected to operate this way. We should care what people think about ouropinions. Thats why they're called opinions. I believe this image I portray is related to my childhood. When I was younger, my mother always got upset when she asked for our opinion on something and we told her the truth.She got so angry that we didn't agree with her sometimes. I believe these episodes shaped my idenity. I don't share my opinions around my parents because they get upset.
Though my dad was up that night, he understood why I act this way. When the conversation went futher herealised he gets upset when I share my opinion. For example: I told my father that I thought it was weird he was dating again. Mainly because he hadn't dated since my mother. I went on to saying that I was happy for him. I think he selects to do this because he is happt and wants everyone tobe happy about the situation.
Before we went to eat, my father and I were getting our nails done. Yes I know a man getting a petacure is strange, but thats my father. While my father was getting his petacure, he was telling the nail technition abouthis new girlfriend. While talking about tammy, the petacurist ask ifshe was divorced and if the children were in the fathers life? My dad said Tammy had been married, but was now divorced. She has five children from to marrigess and the father isn'tin their lives. I was okay with that response. However, he than went on to saying that fathers leave their children when getting divorced, and then come ack when the child can take care of themselves. I thought this statement was very strerotypical. Not all fathers walk away from their children when getting divorced . Just because Tammy's ex husbands, and yourself walked away from you children doesn't mean every man does.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
I'm starting understand what my sister Chelsey told me about online classes. She said they were hard because you have to be motivated, and when your not is when you start digging yourself into a hole. Though I feel I'm doing well in this online Communications class, I think I could use some improvement. When I answer the discussion question,I feel my answers aren't to college standards. It seems my other group members can word there answers better than me. I would like to work on that.
Another thing i have realized is the material we are studying all ties together. I'm finally understanding who I am, and changing some of my daily habits. For example: I stopped asking my dad where hes going when he goes out at night. If he want to disclose that he's going to the casino that is fine. This as made my life a lot less stressful because I'm always worried he will ask me for money. However, I just stopped caring.
One thing I want to learn n this class is how to overcome my fear of going up to someone I don't know and introduce myself. I have introduced myself to people before, but I feel more comfortable when someone does the introductions. I wonder why I feel so uncomfortable introducing myself when I'm with a group of people. I really need to overcome this fear and being uncomfortable about this situation.
Another thing i have realized is the material we are studying all ties together. I'm finally understanding who I am, and changing some of my daily habits. For example: I stopped asking my dad where hes going when he goes out at night. If he want to disclose that he's going to the casino that is fine. This as made my life a lot less stressful because I'm always worried he will ask me for money. However, I just stopped caring.
One thing I want to learn n this class is how to overcome my fear of going up to someone I don't know and introduce myself. I have introduced myself to people before, but I feel more comfortable when someone does the introductions. I wonder why I feel so uncomfortable introducing myself when I'm with a group of people. I really need to overcome this fear and being uncomfortable about this situation.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Thoughts
I'm finally get a hang of my communications class. Though it is sometimes hard to balance with my other classes. I like that there is a discussion board for question about the course. This has made the adjusting a lot easier.
Communication is a essential to our everyday lives. I think interpersonal communications and public speaking should both be required for the English credit. They both seem to inter twine. If you don't understand the forms of communication, how will you be able to use it when speaking in front of a group you just meat?
The three discussion questions this week seem pretty self explanatory. I hope they are all like this. I think the only hard part is coming up with examples you feel comfortable telling to complete strangers. When you think about it, we are strangers, even though we are discussing the same topics. This is where self disclosure comes into play.
Some communication techniques I need to work on are owning my own feelings, self disclosure, and unintentional communication. I always feel I’m disclosing too much information in certain situations. The most recent time I caught myself disclosing to much information is when I met my mom’s new husband for the first time. I couldn’t shut myself off. It seemed like I told him everything about myself.
Owning my feelings is another story. I feel like I always need to help everyone. Even when it affects me in a negative way. I need to work on saying NO at the appropriate time. Even if that means saying no when I should say yes.
Communication is a essential to our everyday lives. I think interpersonal communications and public speaking should both be required for the English credit. They both seem to inter twine. If you don't understand the forms of communication, how will you be able to use it when speaking in front of a group you just meat?
The three discussion questions this week seem pretty self explanatory. I hope they are all like this. I think the only hard part is coming up with examples you feel comfortable telling to complete strangers. When you think about it, we are strangers, even though we are discussing the same topics. This is where self disclosure comes into play.
Some communication techniques I need to work on are owning my own feelings, self disclosure, and unintentional communication. I always feel I’m disclosing too much information in certain situations. The most recent time I caught myself disclosing to much information is when I met my mom’s new husband for the first time. I couldn’t shut myself off. It seemed like I told him everything about myself.
Owning my feelings is another story. I feel like I always need to help everyone. Even when it affects me in a negative way. I need to work on saying NO at the appropriate time. Even if that means saying no when I should say yes.
Thoughts on Second Week
I'm finally get a hang of my communications class. Though it is sometimes hard to balance with my other classes. I like that there is a discussion board for question about the course. This has made the adjusting a lot easier.
Communication is a essential to our everyday lives. I think interpersonal communications and public speaking should both be required for the English credit. They both seem to inter twine. If you don't understand the forms of communication, how will you be able to use it when speaking in front of a group you just meat?
The three discussion questions this week seem pretty self explanatory. I hope they are all like this. I think the only hard part is coming up with examples you feel comfortable telling to complete strangers. When you think about it, we are strangers, even though we are discussing the same topics. This is where self disclosure comes into play.
Some communication techniques I need to work on are owning my own feelings, self disclosure, and unintentional communication. I always feel I’m disclosing too much information in certain situations. The most recent time I caught myself disclosing to much information is when I met my mom’s new husband for the first time. I couldn’t shut myself off. It seemed like I told him everything about myself.
Owning my feelings is another story. I feel like I always need to help everyone. Even when it affects me in a negative way. I need to work on saying NO at the appropriate time. Even if that means saying no when I should say yes.
Communication is a essential to our everyday lives. I think interpersonal communications and public speaking should both be required for the English credit. They both seem to inter twine. If you don't understand the forms of communication, how will you be able to use it when speaking in front of a group you just meat?
The three discussion questions this week seem pretty self explanatory. I hope they are all like this. I think the only hard part is coming up with examples you feel comfortable telling to complete strangers. When you think about it, we are strangers, even though we are discussing the same topics. This is where self disclosure comes into play.
Some communication techniques I need to work on are owning my own feelings, self disclosure, and unintentional communication. I always feel I’m disclosing too much information in certain situations. The most recent time I caught myself disclosing to much information is when I met my mom’s new husband for the first time. I couldn’t shut myself off. It seemed like I told him everything about myself.
Owning my feelings is another story. I feel like I always need to help everyone. Even when it affects me in a negative way. I need to work on saying NO at the appropriate time. Even if that means saying no when I should say yes.
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